Learning how to say NO…

This is something that I claim I am good at.  I preach at my friends to do.  I talk to my kids about it, so they can take care of themselves.  BUT…when it comes to me…in all honesty…I STINK at saying NO!!  I do too much, for my kids, my husband, my family, my friends…

It’s quite stupid!  I say yes, I get overwhelmed, cranky, angry, yelling, bitchy, all at me, but I take it out on everyone else.  Times I really don’t enjoy myself during an event, but after it is over, my selective forgetfulness kicks in and I am off to do it again!!!

What the heck???!!!

What is wrong with me?  Oh yeah, I want to fit in, I want to keep everyone happy…Or what I think will keep them happy…with me!!!

Today was “CulitvateHer” at church.  I love it!  It is once a month, from 7:00 am to about 8:30 am.  Women getting together listening to a motivating speaker, talk about amazing things!  Totally nurturing, uplifting, and necessary!  I DON’T like to miss this, it’s only once a month.

Last night, I made a choice to not go.  It was difficult…I felt guilty.  But I chose no.  I don’t sleep…it was already 2:45 am.  I knew my kids would be sleeping until about 8:30.  But I was going to get up at 6 to be there by 7.  So I could have just a few hours of sleep?  I was proud for a moment for deciding no.  But then felt guilty, I fought with myself over this.  I decided, that I need sleep.  I have a lot to do today…And I want to enjoy the rest of my day.  I am planning a tea party this evening.  I have to cook and bake…I chose to not try to do everything today.  I chose to take care of me, even just a little bit!

I woke up and the sky didn’t fall…my kids slept in until 8:30ish…

I am working on my list for the store.  I am relaxed, and excited.  I am ready to enjoy my day.  Will I remember to say no again?  I don’t know.  It’s a fine line for me.  I am hoping that I will.  I am praying that I will.

The best answer I can give…

I will try.

Update on our week and tommorrow…A Tea party!!

This week I crawled out from my sick cave and back into the land of the living.  It is “spring break” for this family.  Tom is out of town and has been for a while.  He will be home very soon!!

Anyway, I sent Taylor to Anna Maria, Florida for some major bonding time with my parents.  I know life gets very difficult for him when his dad is away for long periods of time, and he and I have been going to war with school.  I just didn’t have the “fight” in me.  So I called my parents and asked if he could go down and be spoiled for a little over a week.  His Aunt Christy and his GG Nana Deacon, both, live down there as well.  My mom called me back and said, yes, of course he can come, so I went on Southwest Air, and booked a direct flight!  I know he’s having a great time!! 

Anyway, I took him to the airport, fortunately my fever and aches from Tuesday and Wednesday were gone, so I dropped him off, waited for the flight to take off, drove home, and got sick.  Was stomach sick for the next 3 days and spent Sunday resting…

Monday, I went out with my amazing friend Teddy.  We had breakfast at Cracker Barrel then went shopping. Later that night we convinced Rhonda to join us for dinner and laughter!  What an full and fun day of bonding and LAUGHTER!

Tuesday, I took Lily, Maggs, Anya and Carina D. out to a beautiful tea house in Thompson Station for lunch and tea!  Oooooh, we had a wonderful time!!  Lily and Maggie dressed up, and we enjoyed wonderful food and desserts and of course tea.


Wednesday, I spent the day with my very long time, very close friend Lauren Kitchens!  Yea!  She is in town for a few weeks.  We went to Cracker Barrel, again, and just talked and talked and talked and then talked some more!  It is always so wonderful to catch up with her!!  We are looking at an over 25 year friendship!  I AM blessed!!

Today, I saved for Anya.  She and I went to the “Pancake Pantry” for a late breakfast.  She was amazed at how she remembered the smells and the taste of the pancakes.  She hadn’t been there since she was about 2 or so, (I think it was more like 4 or 5).

We enjoyed our meal, talked a lot about college, majors and life, then ventured over to Opry Mills for a movie!  We went to see “Alice in Wonderland” at the IMAX.  My 2nd time watching it and it was wonderful!  I love Johnny Depp!  I just do…nothing else needs to be said… :)

From there we did a little shopping, well she did, and then ventured home.

On the way home, my daughter who is a mom at heart…said, “Mom, you really need to take Lily out for dinner, she is feeling left out and angry.”

What??  I just took she and Maggie out for tea?  Doesn’t matter.  So I suggested that I take Maggs and Lily at the same time.  So sure enough, when we got home, not more than 5 minutes after we got home, Lily asked when SHE could have some time with me!!  Anya started laughing!  So I suggested that she and Maggs and I go out.

So we did.  El Rey, in Ashland City for Dinner, and Strattons for some ice cream!!  Mmmmmm!  We had a great time!


Got home around 8:40, got the girls to bed, and Kieran is feeling bad like he hasn’t done anything fun.  Well, last week movie alone with me, before I got sick…and sleepover on Friday night…

I just can’t win!!  I am only ONE mom.  Tom is gone…I am being P U L L E D…

What about Rowan??  He is so frustrated, but he is only 2 and is too little for a night date…that boy needs to be in bed early!  Plus, he and I bond in the morning hours…

Tonight, Anya, Kieran and I watched “Ladyhawke”  What a beautiful movie!!  The music is totally 80′s, (Alan Parson’s project) but if you can get over that…

Friday plans…

I am planning on going to CultivateHer at 7:00 am.  Grocery store after, home pick up Kieran, head to the movies in Bellevue with Kieran for a noon movie, back home, finish making desserts and tea sandwiches and prepare the house for our 1st tea party!!  Woo hoo!!  Anya has invited several of her girlfriends over for Tea.  They will be dressing up.  I have invited several of my girlfriends, hopefully they will dress up somewhat too!  I wanted to have high tea at 4:00, but in America, just not realistic.  So we’re opting for 5 ish…

(are you exhausted yet???)

I am so excited!  I will have plenty of pictures and video to share!!  I can’t wait.

Kieran will be in my room with Rowan watching hours and hours of Thomas the tank engine!  It will be beautiful!

Saturday, I have plans, but for the life of me…I can’t remember.  (My brain is mush from all that I have done this week already!)

Sunday…My 2 men come home!!!!!  I am so very excited!

I am thankful, I am blessed!

I have wonderful children!  My 13 year old, Taylor has actually been calling me from Florida and last night, we talked for over an hour!!  Skype has been a blessing!  Tom and I have been Skyping almost every day, and the kids have been able to Skype with him a lot as well!!

Rowan is funny when he talks to Tom via Skype…He wants to put his face close to the screen and try to touch him, and thinks Tom will see him better if he is very close to the screen!

I can’t wait until my family is together again!  We are blessed for Tom to be so busy and have such a great gig and life!  This is something that we DON’T take for granted!  But is sure is nice when he is home.  Reba is normally NOT busy like this.  So it takes getting used to when she has some long runs…

Another blessing, Tom is in Portland OR, now.  He spent the day with Deuce, our brother in law, skiing!  Tomorrow he will be able to see Beth and Deuce!  She is flying home from her job tonight!  It’s so nice he can visit our families and good friends while he is out on the road.

Thankful!  That is what I am.  Greatful for this amazing life I have been blessed with!  Dear, dear family, friends, children, husband that is my everything!  An almighty God that just rocks beyond my wildest imagination!

I am so very Thankful and truly blessed.