Fear | lorrieharden

Mentoring Mom…the journey begins…serious subject, goofy pics!

I have started a new category on my blog called, Mentoring Mom. I completely stole this idea from my good friend, Jeff Graves, Not the mom part, just the mentoring part. We both have kids that will be leaving for school, or doing something in their life outside our home in 2 years. (His first born, Nathan Graves, just left for college last week.) He told me of his plan to mentor his 2^nd child, Josh, over the next 2 years.

I loved his idea of spending the next 2 years of Josh’s life, while he is still at home, and really, intentionally pouring into his life. I know we are supposed to be doing that from birth, but do we? I believe that we try. Life somehow has a way of getting in the way. We do the school thing, and watch their games, or plays, or soccer or whatever it is your child does, we take them to church, we feed and clothe them, beds to sleep in, roof over head, yada, yada, yada… We hope and pray for them.

We also have their siblings lives to contend with, we have jobs, financial stress, spouses, family, extended family, holidays, birthdays, mid life crisis’s, I could go on and on.

So when Jeff told me he was going to be intentional about this for the next 2 years, a light went off in my head.

I totally got this! I love this. I hate this. I am scared to death of this!

I thought, what does this mean for Anya and I? Lord, what do you want me to really teach her, before she leaves? She is an amazing young woman already! This will mean I have to look in to the ugliness of me as well, as help to mold and instill those nuggets of knowledge and grace that you want me to impart to her! UGH! I don’t want to do that, but I do want to do that!

I am excited for this new journey that we are officially on…

I see already things that I want to grow in her. She is book smart…very intelligent! She gets that from her father! I on the other hand am more street smart. I am kind of a natural “Life Coach”. I can see and help guide others toward the life they want to live. I have considered getting certified for this. Maybe this will be the catalyst for that.

I am excited, already I am making a plan.

Grace, joy, freedom, boundaries…these are a few that I will begin with.

These are life lessons that I can’t wait to discuss with her. She is an easy 1^st candidate. She is a intelligent, beautiful, creative, funny, person. She already has a grasp of who the Creator is to her. That relationship is her own. She loves people and loves to help.

Do we have places to go with this? Oh, yes!

I will be blogging of our mentoring time…

I am blessed to have this amazing young woman. I love this girl! AND, I really like this person! She is one of my favorite people to be with. We get along great! (For a mother and a daughter mind you, I am NOT her best friend, don’t want to be either!) I seriously adore her!

I can’t believe that I really am in that countdown. I have been mentally preparing for it since she was in about 6^th grade. Two years…It will fly. I ask you to join me in this and pray with me as we, Tom and I, finish this part of our journey with her , and watch her fly.

Fear!

The subject of fear has come up a lot in the past few months, at least in my mind…

Several months ago, Pastor Pete, at Cross point, did a series called, “Paralyzed”…got me thinking…

So I want to share my thoughts…

Rowan is waking up several times in the night, crying…night terrors, bad dreams call them what you want. A couple of days ago, Anya was babysitting and she played the movie “Sleeping Beauty” for Lily, Maggie, and Rowan. He sat in my bed, and every time the evil, Maleficent, would show up, he would say, “Oh no, oh no, oh no” and pull the blanket over his head…

Kieran is 10 and is going through some kind of fear thing…again…we can’t quite pin point why this time…we’re working on it.

Kids have their fears during the day, at night, fear of the dark, shadows, monsters…

As adults we feel for our children when they are scared, and try to calm and comfort their fears.

We make every attempt to bring their fears out of the dark and into the light,

We open doors and shine lights under beds, to show them that there is nothing there.

As adults what do we do with our own fears??

Do we cower when the “lights” go off in our lives?

Do we hide in our minds full of iniquity, and self loathing, guilt from the past and

Fear of the future?

How do we calm our fears? Who do we turn to help us shine the light on our unrealistic,

expectations of ourselves?

It sometimes seems so trite to say, just turn to God, and He will help you through…

If it were that easy, why are there so many of us that still struggle?

Are we not spiritual enough? I believe that we should turn to God and ask Him to help

Us with our fears… Sometimes I believe that it takes more.

Sometimes I believe that God wants us to do more digging, more shedding, to make us more transparent…More trusting to others. Find your inner circle, an inner circle that you can be open and honest with. Mine is a circle of women that I can, as Diana P. puts it, “Be completely naked with”.

I have been blessed, after all these years, I have that circle, I am finally, slowly, carefully taking the risk and stripping, shedding, and becoming completely “naked” with these women. I love them, I trust them. I am scared to death at times, but I do feel safe with them. I am able to share with them my fears, my personal fears. (I’ve always been the sharee (ooh look, I made up a new word…) not the sharer…) I am able to begin to bring what I have hidden in the dark for so long into the light. It may not be major traumatic happenings in my life that would make one gasp when they hear it, but it is enough that it has kept me frozen. Enough that I have been afraid to step out and be the woman that is inside me. The woman who has dreams yet to fulfill.

I have fear of failure…fear of success…

Fear of success??? Yes, for me, fear of success as well. In the past I, didn’t necessarily, like who I was, or how things looked for my small successes. So I put my dreams away, to stay safe. Safe from fear of rejection, failure, and success. But I was reminded that I am not that same person I was years ago. That those fears of success probably couldn’t withstand the woman that I have become! Wow that is powerful.

So I will be chewing on that for a while, and continue to walk this through, shedding, stripping, walking in light and tackling my monsters, gaining strength and becoming more of who I am to be…

It’s never too late to start.

lorrieharden

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Mentoring Mom…the journey begins…serious subject, goofy pics!

Fear!

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