My House is beginning to explode with stuff!!

Funny, how just a few blogs entries ago, I was discussing chores…I believe it must be on my mind!!

Ohhhh, I got home late this afternoon from my writing appt,  and began to look around my house.  Clutter, clutter, stuff everywhere!  I am actually to the point that I pass over something on the floor, a crumpled paper, a toy, a piece of clothing, I just don’t have the strength to pick it up…to put away.  I am overrun with 6 children, 3 are 7 and younger, and quite messy…My “middle boys, 13 and 10…well it is a constant war to get them to complete their chores…I have gone “commando” with them.  Which means, they are starting at zero and everything has to be earned!  Still I have to deal with the arguments, the talk back the lack of follow through.

So what will we be doing this Memorial Day weekend???  We will be cleaning and beginning to de-clutter this house.  I may only get one or 2 rooms done, but I will start!  Just keep us in your prayers.  That there is joy as we clean!  Kind of a whistle while you work thing…

Learning how to say NO…

This is something that I claim I am good at.  I preach at my friends to do.  I talk to my kids about it, so they can take care of themselves.  BUT…when it comes to me…in all honesty…I STINK at saying NO!!  I do too much, for my kids, my husband, my family, my friends…

It’s quite stupid!  I say yes, I get overwhelmed, cranky, angry, yelling, bitchy, all at me, but I take it out on everyone else.  Times I really don’t enjoy myself during an event, but after it is over, my selective forgetfulness kicks in and I am off to do it again!!!

What the heck???!!!

What is wrong with me?  Oh yeah, I want to fit in, I want to keep everyone happy…Or what I think will keep them happy…with me!!!

Today was “CulitvateHer” at church.  I love it!  It is once a month, from 7:00 am to about 8:30 am.  Women getting together listening to a motivating speaker, talk about amazing things!  Totally nurturing, uplifting, and necessary!  I DON’T like to miss this, it’s only once a month.

Last night, I made a choice to not go.  It was difficult…I felt guilty.  But I chose no.  I don’t sleep…it was already 2:45 am.  I knew my kids would be sleeping until about 8:30.  But I was going to get up at 6 to be there by 7.  So I could have just a few hours of sleep?  I was proud for a moment for deciding no.  But then felt guilty, I fought with myself over this.  I decided, that I need sleep.  I have a lot to do today…And I want to enjoy the rest of my day.  I am planning a tea party this evening.  I have to cook and bake…I chose to not try to do everything today.  I chose to take care of me, even just a little bit!

I woke up and the sky didn’t fall…my kids slept in until 8:30ish…

I am working on my list for the store.  I am relaxed, and excited.  I am ready to enjoy my day.  Will I remember to say no again?  I don’t know.  It’s a fine line for me.  I am hoping that I will.  I am praying that I will.

The best answer I can give…

I will try.

Why is it so difficult to write a blog post?

I have posts that I have started and not finished…why is it so difficult for me to write a blog post?  Could it be that I am home with 5 of my 6 children and am sick and exhausted?  Or that Tom is out of town and I am home with 6 kids?  I know what I want to say, when I get to the edit page…murphy’s law kicks in and I am interrupted with something…then distracted, then just forget.

Ugh!

I will try to post something tomorrow.  In the mean time.  Pray for me, pray for sleep, pray for no more stomach bug…

Pray for rest.  I am exhausted.  I am exhausted. Did I say I am exhausted? I want a break.  I want to enjoy life, and I don’t think I am.  I think I am too busy to enjoy the little things.  Not all of them, but I am sure many.  I just want this train to stop.  I want to do nothing with my family.  I want to video tape them and laugh with them.  Play games, and watch a dvd with them.  Even that is difficult at times.  I tried tonight, and kids constantly moving, up and down, bored, switching places, just itching to move.  It was exhausting for me.  It was late, so, we only watched 3/4 of the movie.

I want my oldest daughter to join me in watching movies or dumb tv shows instead of watching them on her computer in the living room by herself.

I find that I really want to sing again.  I miss that part of me.  So that is my next feat.  To sing again, for people, make funny movies of my family, and laugh!  I love to laugh!

OK, I am finished and am going to post this…