Yes, I had quite a few loads of Darks...
While folding many, many loads of laundry last night, (6 kids = never ending loads of laundry) I was watching a few episodes of the A&E show “Hoarders”.
About 99% of the show, I am in SHOCK! I am overwhelmed and at times quite disgusted. When I first see the homes, I think to myself, “How do these people let their house go and get to this point?” Scary to say, I can see HOW…
I am a home school mom. My kids DON’T go to school 5 days a week for 8 hours a day, they are home, ALL the time. It is a constant battle to keep the toys in their rooms and to get them to pick up their toys AFTER they are done playing with them. I find shoes EVERYWHERE…Kieran will actually walk out of his shoes and just leave them right at the spot where he walked out of them. When cleaning, many times the kids will get a toy or an article of clothing 85% to it’s final destination, then they are distracted…”Oohh, shiny”…Of course they have forgotten about finishing the job, and have totally moved on…and don’t get me started on “Lego’s”!
Then there is the “Rowan Factor”
This is the Rowan Factor
… I talk a lot about the Rowan Factor; my 3 year old is in his own category of “Wild Child”. He makes the Tasmanian devil, (Cartoon character, of course) look like the turtle from the ‘Hare and the Turtle’! I have friends and family that can attest to this!
He is NON-STOP, changes clothes about 5 times a day…or just loves to strip and be almost naked. Of course when he takes his clothes off, they are left wherever he chose to take them off at the time. We can’t keep his clothes in his drawers as he will wear ALL of them in ONE day, and somehow, manage to get EVERY single piece of clothing dirty! His toys show up, well, everywhere…I could go on and on, but he deserves his own post, actually, he deserves his own book…trust me, I am working on it…
Because of all my kids and being home all the time, that I can see how a house can get messy, I believe we live in messy a lot, not filth, but messy…Hence the title of my blog…My Beautiful Chaos.
I am only one Mom. My kids are in life training mode…older ones help a lot; younger ones…are slowly learning how to help, and are much faster at making new messes. I can see how, one can get overwhelmed and lose motivation to clean it up, depression can set in, it becomes a cycle…Then add the probable OCD, and need to collect and keep and before you know it, your house looks like an episode of “Hoarders”.
My house is NOT like that, but it gives me empathy.
My heart does hurt for them, at the same time, still watching, still in disbelief of the absurdity of the filth…
On the show, the professional organizer, who specializes in “Hoarders”, comes in and asks a few questions…some of the questions lead me to an “Ouch” moment.
She will pick up “stuff” from their house and ask, “Do you need these? Will these help you reach your goals that you have set?”
Oh, Crap! I ask myself that question all the time. The conversation in my head: “…but I have 6 kids, I might need these…they were expensive, I don’t want to throw it away.” I couldn’t possibly go down this road…Could I??? Oh Crap!
“Wait, I have this “thing” for knitting yarn, and I am a sap for knitting magazines, and such…I can’t throw the magazines away…they have patterns in them”.
I used to collect “Parents Magazine“. Come on, I have 6 kids…they have fantastic ideas, for parties, potty training, mom help things…I had several years worth, well more then several…One day last year, I had to ask myself that question…”Do I need these?” I mean I freakin’ have the Internet and can google any of these “parenting” issues and instantly get my answer. I made the choice and threw all of them away.
My husband is a drummer, a musician, so we have many old copies of “Modern Drummer” and “Electronic Musician” magazines, Then he loves a few British magazines…Well we CAN’T throw ANY of those away…They all are expensive and well, good bathroom reading, or “chill” reading.
We have a lot…well not hoarder a lot, but a lot to me…
My 6 and 8 year old daughters have like 25-30 Barbies…that is a lot…I just told them I think they only need 3 a piece…When I told Anya, she was sad…she said, “I played with ALL of my Barbies at the same time when I was little. You had a big long storage roller box that I kept under my bed, do that for them.” Ok, I could do that…
It may not look like it, but I am always in de-clutter mode…I am given a lot of childrens clothes from friends, when mine out grow them, I try to seasonally pack up outgrown clothes and give them away.
It is a constant, to train, remind and retrain my kids to pick up after themselves. It never is done the way I want it…
At times, I get stressed over what my house looks like and what am I teaching them. Is it enough?
I often wonder what they think when their friends come over. Are they embarrassed? No they are not. In fact, the kids/teens that come over, love my house, they say it feels lived in and full of love. Their Peaceful Chaos.
When I watch the Hoarders show, I see what how it fractures and breaks families. Children can’t have their friends over, they are embarrassed, or just have no room for anyone, or kids that are taken away for safety reasons…
So, as exhausting as it is to remind, re-remind, re-re-remind and demand my kids help, I will continue to persevere. I will continue to push them to keep up with their chores. I am not their slave, as I tell them, and I want them to take pride and ownership of their house, their, “stuff”, and know how to clean when they move out on their own…They will move out won’t they?
I dream of having that decorator style house, that you see in a magazine…but that is not my reality…With kids/teens accidents happen, spilled soda or food on my carpet. The kids will run in the house after playing outside and forget to take their muddy shoes off. Our kitchen is in use a lot…I have 2 ginormous dogs…well, one, a 200 lb. Mastiff,
Rowan and Angus: Just a boy and his dog
who thinks he is a lap dog…and a wild, sweet, smiling yellow Lab. At night they sleep on my living room furniture…one takes the couch and one takes the giant ottoman. They have worn down my furniture…it’s not as nice anymore. New furniture? I have been waiting until my kids are done making messes, but that will never happen, I know.
My house is messy, but no hoarders here, it’s clean, it’s well worn and full of love…it is my “Peaceful Chaos”.
That, works for me.
