I love music! I love to sing!

I have always loved to sing! My mom has always told people that I could sing before I could talk. When I was very young, she would take me to the grocery store and I would sing the commercials of the different products in the store! I have always wanted to perform. I was in all the high school musicals, choirs, majored in music in college. Placed in the top 3 in the “Christian Artist Music Festival” in Estes Park Colorado, oh but so many years ago!! Was even offered a record contract at a very small label in Dallas TX.   Got a letter inviting me to sing at the Crystal Cathedal. For some reason, never pursued either of these.  Sang at Church all the time. Put on a few concerts, with tracks.

Then I got married to a musician.  An amazing musician.  He can write, play drums, piano, guitar, well, every instrument he picks up.  He can sing.  He can do it all!  We started a band in Oklahoma.  We practiced and practiced and actually did one concert.  We had a blast.  Then we moved and the other guys didn’t want to continue the band.  After 9 months in Steamboat, a temporary move, we moved to Nashville.  We were young, we were naive, we had no idea how to connect.  We didn’t like the churches that had all the artists and artist wanna be’s.  We just needed community.  Tom needed a job.  I worked at a temp agency.  He did whatever to pay the bills.  Copied music for a while.  Within’ 3 months he landed a country gig.  Wow…so didn’t expect that!  It was great!  Did what so many said he couldn’t do.

As far as our dreams of a band…he said, “Once I’m established, we’ll work on our thing.”

Life took over, time got away, babies were born, music industry is a very difficult place to live in.  Small community.  Once you’re in, it is amazing!  A great family of players!  I love them!

As for me, music, and our dreams?  Tucked way up high on a shelf that was out of reach.  I was in a different “season” of life.  Something that was a dream, and reality screamed something different.

It was when my 1st born, my daughter, my Anya said to me at the wise old age of 8, “Mom, why don’t you sing?”  “I do sing,” I said, “only around the house, I have children.  Because my focus is on you children.”  She replied, “Why can’t your do both?”

OUCH!

Brought it all to the surface…music, my dreams, my longing, all that pain.  Why couldn’t I do both?  Well, I had let myself go.  I was a frumpy, overweight, depressed housewife.

I lost me.

I informed my amazing husband that I wanted to do a cd for me.  To show my daughters that they can do both.  I’d love to say it has been an easy road to walk down and I finished my cd and am doing music and loving life.  But parts of that are not true.

We began to work on a cd for me.  I was pregnant with Lily, child number 4.   Tom contacted all of his songwriter friends and they send cd’s of their songs for me.  Nothing fit…So we decided to write for my cd.  Then Tom had an opportunity to create a Christmas cd, all on his own.  There went 6 months of his life.   After that fiasco was over, cd is great, got screwed over by the company, we were going to begin writing.  We decided to add on to our house, by ourselves…there went the next year of our life.

One Sunday night in September, I asked if we could go down to the studio to write.  I knew he was exhausted, but I just needed to do something creative for me.  Of course, he said yes.  He is amazing like that!  We went down and he started playing a melody that he had swirling around in his head.  He thought it was my style…so not.  I told him what I thought the song sounded like to me, idea and all, I framed the entire song out.  He was so excited, he called one of his friends, an amazing lyricist, Don Rollins, and asked him to write the song with us.  We got together that Friday and wrote.  Demo’d the song that Monday or Tuesday, sent it to Reba McEntire, and she put it on hold for her Duets cd on Wednesday!  Talk about a fluke thing!!  Wow!  We ended up with 2 songs on that cd.  “Sleeping with the Telephone” and “Everyday People”.  This sent me down a different path again.  I have been writing, or co-writing for the past 3 years now.  I love it.  It has been a wonderful, for the most part, outlet for my creativity!  I get to sing the female demo’s!  I love that!

Back to my CD.  Well 7 years and 2 more children, (6 all together) have passed since I announced I wanted to do a cd.   A cd for my daughters… for me.

I hesitate.  I am too old now?  I am in my 40′s.  Why should I bother?  I don’t even sing at church anymore…I feel too old!!  Well, because I need to do it for me.  I need to finish this.  I have a lot to say.  I have many songs about women.  The different journey’s in their and my life.  I don’t care to be famous, although, some cd sales would be a great way to help my children get through college…I just need to sing.  Communicate in a way I have been comfortable with since before I could talk.  I am tired of being intimidated by 20 somethings.  I can sing circles around most.  Most of them can’t sing at all…they just have the package look and a tuner.  Susan Boyle has been amazing!  Amazing for women that are over 25 or 30.  She has proven that age is NOT important.  She has shown so many of us over 30 and 35 that we need to follow our dreams.  Set goals to accomplish those dreams.  Not to judge by it’s cover.  I am tired of making excuses to people about my age, that I am the older one, to think I am done because I am not 20, 25, 30, or 35!  I will stop saying it!

So, I am pursuing, finishing and creating my cd.  Hope to be done in 4 to 6 weeks.  Tweaking and making sure the songs are right for me.

I am excited, I am scared, I am nervous, I am curious.  I am ready!

I hope you will join me in this journey.