Category Archives: Kids

09Jun / 2011

Watching your kids grow up/Happy Birthday Anya!

Several days ago, I was driving around like a crazy person, (not a big shock there) finding last minute items for Anya’s mission trip to Nairobi Kenya.  It was an interesting day.  Two days before she leaves, Tom is home watching the kids so Anya and I can go do last minute shopping…The day consisted of breakfast for us at Cracker barrel, just chatting about life…Then we headed off to Goodwill to pick up some jeans, long sleeve t-shirts, and shoes that she could keep over there, those clothes will be pretty skanky after 2 weeks working in the slums…

We couldn’t find any shoes, so we just went and picked up some very inexpensive ones at Wal Mart… (Sorry, Beth, I know how much you LOVE Wal-Mart…but they were 5.00 shoes!!)

It was a great day!  I was up late looking up all the emails from Rhonda Hewett, the team leader,  gathering all the info I would need to have while she is gone…contact info, itinerary, passport etc. 

The next morning Anya had to finish her photo shoot gig…then head off to a special breakfast with her dad.  I was looking over her packing list…when she got home I asked her, do you have your outfits for working at the slums?  Yes…what do you have?  I have the new pair of jeans you bought me a few weeks ago…What?  Oh I don’t think so…you will be walking in excrement…getting filthy.  You are supposed to have 3-4 different sets of clothes.

Yea, she had maybe 1/2 of what she needed, more than clothes, other necessities too…the day before…no babysitter, not so good.  She and I got in an argument.  Not pretty… She didn’t’ want my help, she wanted to do it herself.  The only problem,  she didn’t have time, she actually NEEDED me…But she didn’t want to admit that.  But after our “discussions”, she finally said I could help.  Then she threw out,  she didn’t think I wanted to .  Haha!  What?

Ahhh, the internal struggle of being a teenager…I need you, I don’t.   I love you, I don’t.   I like you, I don’t…I want to be a grown up, I don’t.

Also, I had just dealt with Taylor when we went to Colorado; I trusted my 14 year old to pack for himself…for over a week.  He packed 1 pair of shorts, 1 pair of cut off jeans, one pair of socks, 2 pair of underwear, 2 t shirts, one disgustingly STINKY pair of skate shoes, we had to throw away enroute and pick up some new ones at a Target somewhere in Kansas!  Haha!!

OK, back to Anya, so she took off to Goodwill for more jeans,  capri’s and T’s  that she can thrash and leave there, and I went and picked up her other necessities.

Throughout the day, we would text each other, that was the safest thing to do, then she and I chatted on the phone and we were good again.  We then had a very nice good-bye dinner at Carrabba’s.   The waiter (or server person whatever you call him), found out she was going, and he bonded with us and told us, every time he would come over, about his first job, at the young age of 18, working construction in the Congo!  It was very sweet.  We did enjoy his stories.

Back home again…  
I then had to make sure that Taylor was packed, I checked and Tom double checked his list of clothes and necessities, as he was leaving for his mission trip the next day as well.  He is in Wheelright, KY, an Appalachian town, for 5 days, with the Crosspoint Youth.  Anya did this mission trip a few years ago and it changed her life, and she goes up, with CP, every chance she gets.  Usually in August, for delivering school supplies for the kids up there, and December, Crosspoint adopts children and takes Christmas gifts to them and has a huge celebration.

He passed inspection, was packed and in bed.

Anya on the other hand was up way past 2:00 am packing,  No big deal, as she needed to sleep on the plane to try to offset major Jet lag. Problem…I was up too, as I was worried she wouldn’t get done in time, or we would over sleep.  Don’t know why, since I have the Rowan Factor as an alarm clock…

We got up about 7:00 am and headed to the airport.  Met with the team, checked in, said our good-byes and she was off…

Am I proud of my 2 oldest?  You bet!!  I can’t tell you the joy that exudes from my inner most being as a mom.  I don’t have the words; none of them would come close.

Today is Anya’s 17th Birthday!

Anya with Grace. Crosspoint.tv team in Nairobi

Happy Birthday my sweet, young woman!  I love you more than you’ll ever know!

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26Feb / 2011

Anya is heading to Africa in June with Nairobi Hope Now

My oldest daughter, Anya,  is turning 17 in June…That is huge!   She will have the opportunity to celebrate her birthday in Nairobi, Kenya!

How stinkin’ cool is that!!

She is going on a mission trip with a team of amazing people from our church, Crosspoint Community Church. When I was in college I went on a mission trip to Europe with our Choir.   It was very cool!   About a year into my marriage, I was able to go on a mission trip with my husband. We went to Russia, Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania, with an amazing ministry run by Jim Gilbert.  It was awesome, life changing.  Tom did mission trips to Haiti, all through high school, with a group called New Directions, as well as trips while he was in college.

As life as gone on and I have had my 6 children, my mission days have been on hold.   I want to go back out,  it just isn’t my season.

It is Anya’s time!

You can follow her journey here: Anyanairobihopenow

I am so very excited for her!!! She is going with an amazing team led by Rhonda Hewett, (you can link to her blog) has the opportunity to work with an amazing ministry run by Garry and Brenda Kean.   She and the others will be working at the Kibera Slums and other places.

Here are some pictures that Rhonda has sent me over the years.

Here is a letter that Anya has written as she is looking for support for her trip.  If you’d like to help financially you can send a check to the address at the bottom of the letter.  If you would like to help in prayer, that would be awesome, and definitely needed and appreciated.    You can follow Anya’s blog, or Rhonda’s blog and keep up to date, now and this summer.  Also they are both on twitter, @anya36 and @rhonree, you can follow their journey while they are on their trip, in real time…The blessing of technology, I love twitter!!

The letter:

Dear Friends and Family,

I hope you all have had a wonderful 2011 so far! I have some exciting news. On June 3rd I am leaving on a plane to go to Nairobi, Kenya for a mission trip. I’ll be gone through the 15th. Thirteen people and I are going to be serving the men, women and children of the local slums around Nairobi (including the Kibera Slum of the movie, The Constant Gardener). We will be working with Brenda and Garry Kean and their church New Song Nairobi and Jacaranda, their sewing ministry. It is going to be a heart-wrenching, powerful, wonderful journey, and I cannot wait!

This trip is going to be my first trip out of the country so I am a little bit nervous, but very excited! We are leaving on Friday morning to fly to Chicago, from there to London and then finally to Kenya! We will be there until Wednesday the fifteenth, which means I will get to spend my 17th birthday there! Four of the people going are some of my best friends ever, three of which have never been to Nairobi either, so we shall get to experience it together. We are all very excited.

Brenda and Garry Kean are the founders of New Song Nairobi, and Jacaranda Sewing Ministries. They have been living in Nairobi for several years now and have been working with the people of the slums since they moved there. The Jacaranda sewing ministry is a group of women from the slums making and sewing many different things like purses, dolls, bags, suitcases and aprons. They then sell these items outside of Africa in places like the United States to raise money. This money keeps these people off of the street. A lot of these items will be brought back with us to sell and make money for them, if you are interested in buying something, let me know when I get back!

While our team is there, we are going to be serving many people in different ways. We will be visiting several different slums around Nairobi, talking to and praying with many different people. We are going to be working with kids in VBS and maybe even a sports camp as well. Our goal is to show these kids that they are loved not just by us, but by God as well. We will also be visiting the Jacaranda sewing ministry and teaching the women some different techniques and ways to paint their crafts. One particular thing I am excited about is the privilege of getting to help lead worship for some different people there. Needless to say, we are going to be busy.

There are two things I need help with. The first is funding. For the trip altogether, I need have $3,000 by the end of March. This is a huge amount of money for a 16 year old to raise! If you can help in any way, any amount of money would make a difference. If not, you can help me with my other need, which is prayer. $3,000 is a big goal, and I could use all the prayer I can get, both financially and for the ministry while I’m there. The checks are tax deductible, and are made out to Crosspoint Community Church, with Anya Harden in the memo, and are sent to Rhonda Hewett (our team leader) at:

Rhonda Hewett
301 Mill Run Circle
Nashville, TN 37221

Thank you so much!
Love,
Anya

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07Jan / 2011

Transition is difficult…

So we go to this amazing church, called Crosspoint Community Church.  It’s been our home church for almost 8 years now.  My kids have grown up with amazing friends!  My closest friends attend the same church.  The church transitioned to a multi campus church several years ago.  In May they added another campus and 99.99999 percent of OUR friends transitioned to the Bellevue Campus.  We DID not!  We are about the same distance to either campus and really feel like we are to stay at the Nashville Campus.  No, we know we are supposed to stay at the Nashville Campus.

We are the “old” people of the Nashville Campus as most people are in their 20′s…The Bellevue Campus has most of the families OUR age!

Why we are at the Nashville Campus?  I don’t know, I just know we are supposed to be.

As much as I love Crosspoint, the youth group has been, a not so, positive thing…It was great when Anya was in 7th and 8th grade, end of 8th grade,  the youth pastor…was dismissed, and another interim was in place, then hired on, again in May, more transition, that youth pastor was dismissed.

Anya is now a junior and those kids 1st two years of high school were, well, less than acceptable.  Jessica Hewett totally impressed me and broke my heart, all at the same time, when she said that they bonded with each other, because they really had no leadership, so they found strength and safety in their strong bonded friendship, through all of the crap of the past 2 years, they all have grown stronger.  That was a huge statement!  I love ALL of these kids!!  I saw that since I had my DSG which really turned into a “Teen/tween” hang, which they have told me is still very important to them.  So I will keep it going!!

The juniors and seniors are frustrated and very non-trusting of the youth program, as are many of the parents.  Which to me, it totally understandable to me.  That trust has to be earned back…And I know Crosspoint knows this and they are trying very hard.  I love my church and I know that NO place is perfect and this is the area that our church has had struggles with.  I am not bashing CP, just voicing MY transition frustrations…

CP has now hired 2 amazing youth leaders, one for the Bellevue Campus, Zach Steiger a very cool guy from Cali!, and one for the Nashville Campus, Ketric Newell, from Oklahoma, as Taylor puts it, he is like Pastor Blake on steroids!! Dickson and North, have youth pastors in place already, and they TOO are AWESOME!!   I have to say, I am totally excited about these 2 amazing pastors!  I am very happy about this all…but,

It leads me to the next “transition”.    Where do the high schoolers go for youth group.  They were told, a few weeks ago, that they can choose since they have been through so much…but the youth pastors need to separate, the youth group,  so they know which student goes to their campus, so they know which students to invest in.  Totally makes sense to me!

This transition is great for the middle schoolers and lower classmates, to make, (same campus as their parents go to)  but what about the older kids, who had a sucky 1st 2 years of high school youth. ( sorry, I just have to be real about this…)

Anya still chooses to stay at the Nashville Campus, I haven’t heard where all of the other kids will go, but I have a feeling it might be the Bellevue Campus.  I have told Anya that she can do what she wants to do, but she wants to stay with the Nashville campus.

Inside I ask myself,  what about the student led worship team I have fought so hard to have for these kids, like Anya, and Cooper, and Lukas, and Taylor C. ?   They barely have been able to lead worship and they really have a passion for worship.  Will she be able to lead worship over the next year and half?  Will the other kids?

I worry about her.   I worry that her latter 2 years of high school youth group will suck as well.  While it will be great for Taylor, (8th grade) and my other younger kids,  Anya’s entire high school youth experience thus far has NOT been great, with moments of fun.

Youth group might not be important to some, but to these kids it is A LOT!  These kids are BONDED, FAMILY!

I know for me, youth group was life changing.  It really helped me find my beliefs, and I loved the other kids and the Chuck and Pat Girton, the youth leaders,  in our youth group.

Wednesday night they had a meeting discussing the transition.  I thought it was a combined meeting.  I had just returned from Florida and texted one of my best friends and asked where the meeting was…Bellevue…so I went.  All of my friends were there, but it was only for the Bellevue campus peeps.  I love them, but I felt out of place.  Confirmation that we are to be at the Nashville Campus.  Major sadness came over me.  I made it to the tail end of the Nashville Campus meeting.  I knew I was in the right place, but I knew only 1 parent.   It made me very sad.  Not only is Anya starting over, but it seems that Tom and I are too.   As I spoke to Blake Bergstrom, the Nashville Campus pastor, about this, I could feel my eyes filling with tears that I somehow did not shed.

I was talking to my Jen, one of my besties, about this, and we had discussed how I really want to be intentional about these friendships.  Of course Jen and I talk or text every day, but I need face time.  I already see that some of my other friends are moving in a different direction too, and in new circles of friends.  I am so excited for them, and me, but at the same time…sad.

What does this mean for my dysfunctional small group?  I will continue it, but different dynamic…different people…

Transition…

I ask, how do you transition in situations like this?  How does one fit in with “younger” people, like at the Nashville Campus and really connect?

Please keep us all in your prayers as we make this transition in our lives…

Transition is difficult.

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03Dec / 2010

Help…I have a 3 year old!

OK, I am a mom of 6…SIX!  One would think that by number 6, I would kind of have this parenting thing down…

Well, I gave birth to Rowan…  

Yes, not a normal baby, not a normal child, not a normal toddler…A wild child, a strong child, a OCD child, a temper tantrum throwing child, a physically strong child, a over sensitive child, a very, very, sweet child…I could go on and on.  I won’t, it exhausts me just to type all of this.   

Rowan was walking at 9 months, Rowan was able to lift up the play yard, (I had several hooked together to keep HIM safe), and crawl under and OUT of it by 13 months.  I had a lock on every cabinet, the trash drawer, and refrigerator. At 12 months, he could and would open and close every door constantly, NON STOP…Slamming, over and over and over!  Rowan could run by 13 months.  Rowan is VERY OCD, very ritualistic, needs consistency in his life.  If we change certain routines, he has NO problem throwing himself on the floor and having a huge tantrum…Rowan doesn’t sleep through the night.  Rowan can open baby gates, and is determined to figure out how to get from point A to point B.  He will pull chairs over to climb up and unlock, he will break, and scream, and figure out a way to make something work.  Rowan sees his 5 siblings, and believes he can do ALL that they can.  He tries to cook, he always wants to help clean, (not necessarily really helping).  Rowan’s world is growing, which means he now wants to go outside, any time he wants to go outside.  My life is exhausting, my kids life is exhausting, my husband doesn’t do well with Rowan waking up throughout the night.  I haven’t slept in like 16 years!!  Rowan doesn’t take naps.  He learned that he can “crib slam” his crib against the wall and keep himself awake.  He is so busy, he has a difficult time concentrating on one thing.  When he was a less then 2, I had to get him a crib tent to keep him in his crib.  

He hated it, then loved it.  I went through 2 of them, he wears them out, but he LOVED it!  The zippers do wear out.

About a year and a half ago, Rowan started wearing summer and winter “footie” pj’s backward so he will NOT take them off and sleep in the “buff” and pee and poop all over himself in the middle of the night, and when he was napping. (when we still had the crib tent)

He believes that he is old enough to use sharp knives, pens, pencils, markers, paint, scissors and any of Tom’s tools if he can get to them,  whenever he needs them.

Have I told you he is 6 of 6 kids???  

Rowan is also one of the SWEETEST children around!  He is very sensitive on both sides of the spectrum!!

Being one of 6 children…that is a problem.  Reading about a child like this, you get the feeling that one needs to be near him at ALL times!!

That is correct, one DOES need to be with him at all times!

Sometimes it is my 11 year old, who himself is a cartoon character and really will wind Rowan up, more than calmly play with him.  So, when I may be attempting to do laundry or work with one of the other kids, if Kieran is watching Row, I may have to wait to do chores, until Rowan is asleep!  Which makes my nights when I can really get stuff done!    It puts a lot of pressure on my 2 older kids.  Really,  Anya is the only one that can really watch him for longer periods of time.  Taylor is good for medium time slots.

I adore this child with his infectious smile and is blonde curly locks! 

I am exhausted with this child!

I must ask, if anyone knows, what do you do with a child like this?  How do you discipline?

I have had many moms say, Oh, I have a son like this, oh My daughter was like this…

No,  probably not…not until you meet him and experience him, can you truly say you have a child like this…

I used to think my other boys were wild…then I had Rowan.

Trust me…you can ask everyone that knows Rowan, and has been around him.

He is rare…

My friends that have children and large families, and siblings of large families all say they have NEVER met or experienced anyone like Rowan!  My Nana Taylor used to tell me stories about my dad, and how WILD he was, and we never really knew what she meant.  I often wonder if Rowan is what she meant…I wonder…

I am not one to “spank” the wild out of him…I am not sure that it would even help.

Yet, I will if need be…We stay on top of watching and discipline as much as humanly possible!  We do timeouts, but he is strong willed and oversensitive, very oversensitive!!   BAD combo.

I am just now instilling 1,2 3 Magic. 

If you have any ideas of how to keep him safe and occupied and calm and safe, and safe and safe and happy.  I am ready to read!!!

UPDATE:  Over Thanksgiving, early one morning, Rowan decided to go downstairs in the basement and play the drums…we were all asleep, and no one locked the door to the basement, the chain lock like on a hotel, so he woke up my parents early in the morning.

I was totally overwhelmed!  He is the child that can unlock most doors, climb to the highest he can to get out, or get what he wants!  That put me in such a panic, that I decided to NOT put him in a big boy bed, like I was going to this week, and PRONTO…I ordered another Crib Tent II.  The first night was a nightmare…Tom put it together and put him to bed, (I was picking up the boys from play practice).  Tom said you would have thought someone was killing him!  Tom had to leave the zipper unzipped.  I zipped it in the middle of the night…early in the morning, he somehow broke the zipper.  I gave up… I packed it up to send it back…

Tom said no, fixed the zipper and put it back in.  We talked to Rowan about it.  We reminded him that he loved the Crib Tent, and it was like he was camping!  He went in with a great attitude!  He whined about 4 times, no crying.  I told him it was a great thing.  He laughed at me, and fell asleep…ALL NIGHT!  Woke up screaming for me to get him out at about 8:00 am.  I am so excited.  Sleep…for Rowan and ME?   IT is a beautiful thing!!  Praying that tonight is just as amazing!!

Also, Anya and I were talking and we are going to start a Rowan twitter page, so you can keep up with all the wild things he does throughout the day…just to keep you humored!!  I’ll let you know what I call it…

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19Nov / 2010

Harry Potter!! It’s Midnight, do you know where your kids are?

I know where mine are…     

Memories are being made right now!

Tonight is the opening night for Harry Potter.  Tom, Anya, Taylor and Kieran are at the midnight showing of the new Harry Potter Movie!!

Harry Potter is my husband’s favorite book series ever.  When we went to Florida a few months ago, Tom wanted to go to Disney.  That was the plan…Then he started thinking about it…We ended up at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando.  Tom was in heaven.  

Anya has read the books many times.  She loves them!  It is an amazing bond between Anya and her Papa.  Taylor loves the movies.  He hasn’t read the books, not all of them, but he’s not an avid reader…we are working on it.  Kieran is reading the books, slowly…at his pace.

So in 6 minutes they will be living in their fantasy yet one more time…Where good meets evil. 

I will be seeing it sometime this weekend I am sure!  You KNOW Tom will have to see the move at least one more time!!!

Are you a Harry Potter fan?  

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